Going Behind-the-Scenes in Blogging & Business


This week's IFB column is a topic oh so close to my heart. Read part one over here & then part two below.


How can I be authentic without complaining? How can I be positive without sounding perfect?

This weighs on me for two reasons. One, I feel a pang of guilt when I hear someone reflect longingly about how wonderful some aspect of my life is. Yes, there are so many wonderful aspects! But I wonder, does that person know just how many hours I work, how much self-doubt there is over what to prioritize, how much anxiety comes alongside building your own business?

Two, because like Charlie Brown with the football I fall for it every time myself! I see a friend on Facebook & think, "Wow. She is just killing it. So many things are happening for her. So awesome! But gosh now I feel like not enough big things are happening for Dean Street Society." And then we meet for coffee. And she says, "I'm barely eeking it out financially. None of those big things are as big behind-the-scenes as they probably look. But wow you -- you are just killing it!"

And so my plea to you today is this: Have real coversations with as many fellow bloggers/entrepreneurs/creatives as you can.

Have them with people who are playing in your ballpark. Not the girl whose lawyer husband is {sweetly} supporting her while your finances are totally up to you. Not the girl whose reality show appearance launched her new venture when you have no plans to audition for such a show. Not the girl who started five years ago when the market was different & who would have a harder time gaining a following so quickly if she started today.

On Monday I have three new interns joining the Dean Street Society team. I've made it clear to them that I want to share with them as much of the nuts & bolts of how this business is run as I can. Of course what led them to write & ask about interning was having a "gosh I wish I could do that" moment about Dean Street Society. But instead of letting that take the wind out of their sails, it gave them an extra push to make that happen for themselves.

I will never be someone who lets it all hang out on social media. I don't think it's appropriate or necessary. I think it's the fact that we can follow every moment of Kim Kardashian's life that makes us feel like we want an inside view of everyone's. But I do desire to be transparent. It's what led me to start these Friday columns. And what makes me so excited to be adding new people to my team who have dreams & visions of their own. I love love love helping people take their lives, style & businesses to the next level. But that has to happen in an intentional space like this Friday column, or in face-to-face relationships like with my one-on-one clients, students, team & friends.

Seek out real conversations this year. It's the best chance we all have of becoming more encouraged rather than discouraged by this fabulous internet world we live in & keeping up the passion to make things happen in 2013.

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P.S. What do you not share on social media? What moments or relationships have helped you to feel like you have a realistic not idealistic view?

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